The Green Eyed Monster
Updated: Sep 6, 2019
I have been there, and done that. I sometimes stay there for a while, in a place of which to me, is the definition of where all sanity goes to die. I have also been on the other end of it, where my partner has been jealous of me being friends with any male, and it is not a pretty site, but unfortunately, we all go through it, no doubt about it.
A relationship is all about trust, but you have to remember, when everything is boiled down, we are all animals, we are territorial creatures, and normally when you step on a dogs soil, it’s gunna bark. So that’s what we do, although sometimes silently.
H o w t o c o p e w i t h J e a l o u s y f r o m
p r e v i o u s e x p e r i e n c e :
T r y a n d s t o p u s i n g ‘ w h a t i f ’ s ’
..try and stick to the facts,’Guilty until proven otherwise.’ Figuring out 101 ‘what if’s’ won’t solve anything and the only thing it will do is make you feel worse, it doesn’t prove anything. Unless you are psychic, and in that case, carry on.
M y m i n d i s t e l l in g m e n o , b u t m y b o d y , m y b o d y i s t e l l i n g m e y e s
..(if you didn’t sing along to that, then I hugely overestimated how many R.Kelly fans there were in the world) see your mind might be telling you one thing, maybe to text him when he’s on a lads night out because you want to know that he’s not with that one girl your always worrying about, but one little bit of you is screaming that it would be a bad idea. For God’s sake listen to that little bit of you sometimes. As a girl, I know I can speak for many of us when I say that we overreact (hormones and all that frizzle-frazzle.) Wait that one more day, sleep it off and send that text in the morning, because I promise you will regret sending that angry and/or needy text. Reason is hard when all you want is a cuddle.
T R U S T H I M
Like I said before, a relationship is 98% based on trust, so when you’re looking at his phone when he’s texting probably his work friends, or mother, don’t be a peeping tom. I once dated a guy who looked at my phone every time it bleeped, and it was annoying as hell, everyone needs their privacy, so please respect his, and he will respect yours. Just because he has his phone locked, doesn’t mean he’s got risky texts on their from his ‘side bitches’.
P l e a s e k n o w h e g e t s j e a l o u s t o o
..(and if he doesn’t then he is not the guy for you.) However they show their jealousy in a different way to girls, they may not come outright and say that they saw you talking to that good looking guy by the bar who was getting a bit too close for his liking. Instead they are normally far more subtle then us girls, and sometimes much more immature. Us girls will normally come outright and say it, but guys will show it in a lot of different ways; sometimes they will just pull you in tighter, start to hold your hand, or on the other hand they will say something to the guy without you knowing, or if they get really territorial and mix that with alcohol they might even throw a punch. Now I’m not saying this is the complete guide to what guys do when they’re jealous because honestly, guys are a complete mystery to me, but it is just to show you that you’re not the only one in the relationship getting jealous, even if you think you are sometimes.
I t ' s O k a y
Please know that it’s okay to be jealous, and hey, a little jealousy is good sometimes, it shows that you care about them, and it comes with the territory of being in a relationship, but try and not let it overrun your relationship, try and remember why you are with your partner, and after all he chose you and not that other girl.
If you think the correct tactic is joining in on the game of jealousy, then try it by all means, but try and not turn it into a competition, it will cause arguments, and that’s certainly not what you want your relationship to be.
T a l k I t O u t . . .
If you still feel threatened, and jealous all the time then the best thing to do is talk it out, if you feel a certain emotion, and you are feeling it more and more about your relationship ,you need to be open enough to tell the other person so that they can figure out what they can do differently, to make you feel better in the situation. Remember, not everyone is a mind reader, and if it still doesn’t improve than maybe you’re not meant to be. There is normally a reason if you’re jealous all the time, whether it’s him being too flirty with his ‘girl’ friends, or you being self-conscious. Try and get to the root of the problem, and you can normally go on from there.
And the final thing, you are not alone.