What People With Acne Don't Want To Hear
Updated: Sep 6, 2019
So the fact acne gets a whole month of awareness is absolutely amazing, and yes although I do admit that the first thought that came to mind was that mental illness only gets one day of the year, compared to acne getting 30 of them, that is for another day. It is, however, amazing to have a whole month dedicated to raising awareness that having acne doesn't make you 'ugly'!
Now, I could write for years and years what it's like to have acne, I could give you the woeful story, spell it out black and white, but instead I thought I might do something a little different. Today instead of writing about how to treat acne, or how to deal with it, I'm writing about what people like me don't want to hear. If you suffer from acne you might be interested in reading my other blog on how to deal with having acne a little over a year ago, which you can find here. But this is to you, the person that looks at people like me and struggles to say 'the right thing', and instead accidentally says something worse.
R U L E : 'Don't point out something about someone's appearance if they can't change it in ten seconds.'
W h a t p e o p l e w i t h a c n e D O N ' T w a n t t o h e a r . . .
"Are you getting it treated?"
I've actually had this said to me twice in the last year, and to say it's damn right insulting is an understatement. It puts you into a mindset of thinking that everyone is thinking the same thing, having the worry that every single human being is carefully examining what's wrong with your face, wondering why you're not doing everything you can within your power to fix it. It's obvious if you have a problem, you're going to fix it, so stop stating the obvious please. I'm a work in progress god damn it. We all are, your progress just isn't labelled on your forehead.
"It doesn't look that bad"
I don't care if you actually believe it actually isn't that bad, but when you say this to me, no matter if you try too or not, you are seriously belittling me. Have you heard of 'one person's bliss is an absolute nightmare' it's true. Not saying that acne to anyone is ever a bliss, but some people can deal with having more spots better than others. Also saying 'that bad' sweetheart, no. You don't tell your friends they look fat in those jeans, you just don't say it. DIVERSION PLEASE.
"We all have those days"
Now I'm referring here about people with cystic acne. Yes it's true, we all have those days, and someone's skin problem might be way worse than another person. It's also true that some people handle having more spots than those who get one, and freak out cancelling all of their plans. But if you say to someone 'we all have those days' you're suggesting that they're not trying everything (and I mean everything,) within their power to stop it. Medication, diet, everything. You might break out in spots when you eat loads of sugar, and that sucks, but try breaking out when you haven't had dairy for 3 weeks, are on antibiotics, and on a prescription skincare regime. Yeah, you haven't had one of THOSE days, cause THOSE days, is every day for us.
We take compliments weirdly, and we know if you're sincere or not.
I have loads of friends that compliment me on my skin because they know how much it affects me and my confidence, and don't get me wrong I love receiving them. But what a lot of people don't tend to understand is that we can tell if you're being legit or not. If you're just trying to make me feel better about a bad skin day, DON'T, and I repeat DON'T do it this way. Compliment me on something else, or ask how I am instead. I don't need you to compliment me every time my skin looks a little better, in fact, I really don't want you too.
P L E A S E I ' m b e g g i n g y o u , d o n ' t
m e n t i o n t h e ' h u g e ' s p o t y o u h a v e o n
y o u r f o r e h e a d
We all get spots, that's life, and to say it's a pain in the arse is a massive understatement. But the worst thing to say to someone who suffers from bad acne is mentioning your ONE spot. I get it, it affects you, and it really does suck getting a spot, but you're talking to the person who has had to deal with her whole face being covered in what you call 'the start of a never-ending doom' which disappears a day or two later. So instead of moaning about it too us, instead just ask if we know a way to get rid of it faster, or at least if you're going to complain to us let us know that you are in no way trying to compare yourself to us, taking us into consideration.
S o W h a t S h o u l d Y o u S a y ?
Let US be the one to bring it up. If somebody has bad acne the last thing they may want to do is talk about it. I couldn't openly talk about my acne for at least 6 months without breaking down crying. Like depression or any sore subject, we want to be the one to bring it up, because it gives us the control for once. Why should we let it define us, and by you bringing it up that's what you're doing. Get the label maker, and label me Spot. NO. Just treat me like I'm me, treat me like I was before the acne. I'm human after all, we all are.